What is Life
How do you handle the words that slice through you?
The words that imply that your life doesn’t have meaning. That you don’t matter. That if you were gone, you might be missed. But the world would be indifferent. It might even be better, in fact, because your immediate family is already in Heaven.
Those are the types of words, the type of implications that can break. And golly, do they hurt. If you let them get to you. If you let them push you over the edge, and seep into your soul.
I had casually asked someone their opinion on my travel to another location (a travel warning part of the world) – they’d been before, when the place wasn’t at war. They said I should go, because the tour I’m set to go on was proceeding. Then they reasoned – if something happened – what difference would it make? What would it matter? I could get into an accident outside of my house, or an effect of war could get to me there. At least I’d see the place. But my family was already in Heaven. So what’s the worst that could happen?
I brushed it off then.
Hours later, it sunk in. And it stung.
I had been expecting either an, “It felt safe, the tour company is cautious, it’s worth it.” Or a: “It’s too dangerous, I would advise against it for now.”
Not implying that because I’d already lost my family, this might be a quick way to see them again; but at least see the place I wanted to travel while on my way.
Maybe I misinterpreted it. Or maybe it was just a malicious attack of the enemy. The enemy who comes to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10). The enemy who wants all followers of Jesus to think they’re life is without purpose, they don’t matter.
The same person, earlier in the day, already compared my life to Job. And God had a thing or two to say to Job’s friends that gave him advice.
Because I have something that Job didn’t have. I have the book of Job. And I know how it ends. A family restored. A life restored. Health restored. Hope restored. Because God restores.
God could’ve allowed the enemy to take Job’s life, but God restored. Job was Job. Job’s story was chosen, a faithful servant, engrained in the best-selling book of all time, a redemption story, an example.
How dare I think my little-old-purposeless story could ever have the redemption arc that Job’s does?
Here’s the thing. I don’t. I deserve death. I deserve the worst.
But “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” – John 3:16, NIV
God’s Word says, “Oh that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live!” – Deuteronomy 30:19, NLT
Paul says, “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.” -Philippians 1:21, NIV
Paul, in chains. Us, in the chains of this world. To die is gain. And I know that. I fully realize that. This earth isn’t home. But as long as Jesus gives breath in these lungs, to live is Christ. To live is Christ. To give glory to Him. To worship Him. To point to Him.
I might not have immediate family anymore, but I do pray one day for a marriage, for children. I have hope. But even if that doesn’t happen, to live is Christ.
Like Anna, who was well and truly alone in this world, a widow after 7 years of marriage, she spent the remaining decades and decades worshipping God, day and night, never leaving the temple (Luke 2:37).
If Christ is all that we have, He is enough. If our gift is evangelism, we evangelize. If it’s healing, heal. If it’s giving, give. If it’s showing kindness, be kind. Teaching, teach. If it’s writing, write. If all our hearts can manage and our weary bones can handle is worshipping and praying and weeping, that is enough. That is purpose. With this breath that God gives us, may every day be for Him. Praying, being still, listening, is purpose. Prayers and petitions to God can change the world.
Choose life.
Because, my purpose isn’t a family. My purpose, the biggest thing in this life, my life itself – is Jesus. And if I can show kindness to one person, if I can give to someone in need, if I can write something that might help someone choose life, then that’s a blessing. Every breath is.
And yes, we are so small. But Jesus knows the numbers of hairs on our head.
If we don’t matter to Him, then why does He say, “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born, I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” – Jeremiah 1:5, NIV
“’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” – Jeremiah 29:11, NIV
“For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were recorded in Your book before one of them came to be. How precious are Your thoughts, God! How vast the sum of them!” – Psalm 139:13-17, NIV (if you ever want to know how much you matter, how intentional God is with you, read this WHOLE Psalm)
“For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God. So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as His own children. Now we call Him, ‘Abba, Father.’ For His Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children. And since we are His children, we are His heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share His glory, we must also share His suffering.” – Romans 8:14-17, NLT
To live is Christ.
Christ suffered. He was persecuted. He was cast out from His homeland, looked down on upon, spit upon. The people who claimed to uphold the law He wrote made it their goal to persecute Him. He was sold out for pieces of silver. When He was arrested, being condemned, even His closest followers and friends turned their backs on Him. He was nailed to a cross, the sharp thorns of their mocking crown digging into the head of the King of kings who spoke life. He gave His life for us that Friday. And three days later, the Resurrection and the Life conquered death, so we can have eternity.
All because He knit us in the womb. He chose us. He adopted us. He created us for a purpose. He has a plan for us. For good. He restores. He redeems. He heals. He loves us. And He tells us to choose life.
We don’t have to listen to the lie of Satan that tells us our lives don’t matter; because the one who is Life itself died and conquered death to give us life.
You might reason to examine the context. You might reason that the people writing it were prophets chosen by God. Special. With meaning.
But guess what? For God so loved the world.
If you are here, He chose you. He knit you in the womb. You might be an orphan. You might be without friends. You might have lost your career, your finances. You might think you’re unworthy, a burden on society.
But the King of Kings who spoke life over this world, came here to take Your place, bear your scars, die your death, to give you life. Choose life. Your life matters. You are so dearly loved by your Creator!
I don’t think the person knew they wounded me, or even gave it a second though. I do think it was an attack of Satan. I forgive the person.
Though it really is a place I’d love to see in the world, I will wait until the land heals.
And I won’t live thinking that my life doesn’t matter.
If living for Christ is all you have, that is absolutely enough.
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