Author: adacostauf

THE WAY †

Jesus & Charlie

adacostauf

I’ve written and rewritten this.

I’ve written from a place of horror: I saw the video of him being shot. It’s something I wish I’d never seen.

I’ve written from a place of reaction: A friend didn’t have the empathy I needed him to have, and it dumbfounded me.

I’ve written from a place of explanation: Why Charlie? Why, out of all the murders and horrors, was he getting the attention? (Because that viral, horrible, gruesome video where millions of us watched it)… And maybe something else. But that’s for another time.

But now I write to you as someone who, up until just over two weeks ago, didn’t really know about Charlie Kirk. I’ve seen bits and pieces on the news and social media, but I wasn’t too familiar.

I’m an American. Safe to say, no matter one’s political registration, we all have friends and family who have strong opinions on one side or the other. I dance down the line of people pleasing, (because I hate drama).

But my values?

My values.

The news gives me anxiety. I’m not obsessed with it. I follow Jesus. That’s the lead of my values. I love Jesus with all of my heart, and the Bible says to pray for your leaders (1 Timothy 2:1-2), so I adhere to that. Maybe not as often as I should.

But Charlie.

Charlie Kirk. A virtual stranger two weeks ago. Someone I have wept and prayed for (his family), nearly every day since September 10th.

This feels different. This feels spiritual.

I should know better than to look at comments. Some in the same boat I am, utterly horrified and grieved over someone they’ve never met – because they saw it.

Some celebrating it, justifying it. Which is utterly beyond me. What kind of world are we in that so many people can be happy about the assassination of man who never harmed anyone, but only wanted to create dialogue?

For me, my counselor explained that seeing the video of his assassination is indeed trauma and does alter your brain chemistry. Even though I didn’t know him.

I’m familiar with having your brain chemistry altered due to loss. My mom and grandparents are in Heaven.

But this… still feels different.

A man was brutally murdered in front of hundreds of college campuses. I’ve heard that his little daughter tried to run to him because she was scared of the sound of the shot (that gutted me). A young man, close in age to me by a matter of months. A man with a beautiful, strong wife, and two little ones.

A man who tried to create open dialogue. Who was willing to peacefully hear and work with the other side. Even those (with consciences) on the political opposing side admire how he was respectful.

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve seen the clips. The ones that are criticized. The cropped clips. Because, I have a degree in journalism. I dig. The clips that one side of the news media shows you are – more than likely – always cropped and out of context to get their audience to be outraged. It worked. It worked so well that an innocent man died because of it. Because those claims? They’re taken so far out of context that it would be almost funny if it wasn’t terrifying.

And I hear you. Both sides of the spectrum do it to different people. Do your research. Look for the context. Never take the biased news at its word. Definitely don’t take Tik Tok snippets at their word. If there’s a clip of someone saying something that sets you off – deliberately try to prove the truth of it. Look for the context. And maybe be surprised at how much the media twists things by cropping a fragment, and then sways you with their biased commentary. For some, you just get angry. For the demons, they bring out a bullet or rejoice over it.

Because this, this out of everything, isn’t political. It’s not right vs. left, though it feels like it should be. He leaned one way, right?

No.

It’s a battle of good vs. evil.

If you’re scoffing and saying it had to be political: Look at the response, the demons rejoice (because only evil rejoices when innocent is slain). Then look at his memorial, viewed by tens of millions. His memorial where, social media dubbed Avengers of worship (Phil Wickham, Brandon Lake, Cody Carnes, Kari Job, Tiffany Hudson, and Chris Tomlin). Where every speaker essentially pointed to one thing: Jesus.

Charlie Kirk. If your legacy is such that it leads to dozens and dozens of people sharing the Gospel at your memorial, then what a legacy to have. If your legacy is such that your life and death were the catalyst for revival, then what a legacy to have. If your memorial causes millions of people around the world to hear the Gospel repeated over and over, then, my goodness, I know you heard the words, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” (Matthew 25:23) As your beloved wife said, you blinked, and you saw Jesus.

It was an honor to watch the memorial. I watched the hours of worship by some of my favorite Christian artists. I watched stranger after stranger, person after person, politician after politician, a grieving, yet unbelievably strong widow, the leader of the free world… I watched every single one of them stand on a stage and give one message: Charlie wanted the world to know Jesus. Charlie lived his life for Jesus. Charlie wanted people saved… even the kid who ended his life.

But that kid didn’t end Charlie’s life. He just sent him to the beginning of eternity. He wanted to silence him, but instead, there’s revival.

And then I think of the one I do follow. The one who was loved by many but hated by so many – to the point where they crucified Him. To the point where they rejoiced over His death and tried to hide the fact of His resurrection. They were deeply, unfortunately, confused in their pride, thinking they had it right. Thinking that they followed God’s law to a T, because they were the experts – and here was this…man. Claiming He knew more about their God – even going so much as to call Him His Father! How dare He, right? This man who was causing disturbances, inconvenient crowds, daring to welcome (and heal) lepers, the blind and lame. He flipped over tables and called the self-righteous hypocrites. They tried to trap Him. They finally got someone to lie about Him. Then they sentenced Him to death. Yet on the bloody cross, Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:24, NIV) Because while they thought they knew it all, they were blind. But Jesus saw, and He saw them. And it wasn’t the Pharisees, Sadducees, or Pontius Pilate, who ultimately killed Him. It was our sins that were the reason He came, and His amazing love that held Him there. Jesus laid His life down…for them. For us.

But Jesus.

He is risen, indeed. He came here for the whole world, because He loved it so much. He came here, knowing our pride, knowing our sorrows, bearing our grief, and sins, and sicknesses. He came here knowing how confused we are. He came here for us. He died for us. And He conquered death and the grave, for all eternity. Because half of us might be grieving now, half of us might be in turmoil now, but to all who “confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.” (Romans 10:9, ESV)

In the words of Dr. Frank Turek, “Charlie, right now, is in Heaven. Not because he was a great husband & father. Not because he sacrificed for his Savior. Charlie Kirk is in Heaven, because his Savior sacrificed Himself for Charlie Kirk.”

This battle is good vs. evil. The enemy gloated when he thought the bullet succeeded. But Charlie lived his life in such a way that pointed to Christ, that people are returning to church, picking up their Bibles, seeking God. Revival is happening. Heaven is rejoicing!

Jesus has won the ultimate war. And everyone who accepts and follows Him gets to live for eternity. That message – the Gospel – was the ultimate priority of Charlie Kirk’s life.

“If the world hates you keep in mind that it hated me first.” – John 15:18, NIV

“But if it is from God, you will not be able to overthrow them. You may even find yourselves fighting against God!” – Acts 5:39, NLT

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in heavenly realms.” – Ephesians 6:12, NIV

“These will wage war against the Lamb, and the Lamb will overcome them because He is the Lord of lords and the King of kings; and those who are with Him are the called and chosen and faithful.” – Revelation 17:14

“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.” – Revelation 21:4, NLT

THE WAY †

Tomorrow

adacostauf

I was walking my pup this evening, looking at a beautiful sunset, and murmuring a prayer. One about tomorrow. That no matter who wins, that they’ll come to know Jesus. That God will protect this country, because, no matter the outcome, He’s still good.

Because He is good.

Four years ago, I remember staying up until after 3 am, agonizing over who might be the winner of the election. Praying. Hoping the person I had voted for would win, because apparently the country might implode if they didn’t. I remember watching the news so closely, hearing all of the conspiracy theories and panic-inducing reports.

I trusted in the news, and in the candidate. I believe I murmured something like, “no matter the outcome, God is in control.” Did I believe it? I don’t think I acted like it. It was the year after my grandpa (my last remaining immediate family member had passed), and I was a mess. I depended on my grandparents so much for their wisdom… they were preppers. And I simply didn’t know how to prepare.

So saying that I knew God was in control then… maybe I somewhat believed it, and half-heartedly wondered if He needed me to reason with Him on some things. Pray a little harder.

But now?

Now, I do. No matter the outcome, God is in control. No matter the outcome, we are one day closer to Christ’s return. No matter the outcome, my citizenship is in Heaven, and I’m not of this world.

No matter the outcome, Jesus has the final say.

No matter the outcome, victory – eternal victory – is because of the bloody cross, the empty tomb, and the risen Savior.

Whoever wins tomorrow, I pray that they come to know Jesus. That they fall madly in love with Him. Because He is, quite literally, the only hope this country has. America is so beautiful. I was blessed to go on road trips and see dozens of our national parks. That’s God’s handiwork! He’s blessed this country. He’s saved it so many times through so many things.

But this country is far from perfect. No country is perfect. No earthly leader is.

Only God.

And God, The Almighty, The Great I Am… The only being to whom all glory, honor, power, and praise is due – He is in control.

Not through pride, though He has every reason to be proud. Not through power, though every bit of it belongs to Him.

The Lamb of God, born in a manger. The carpenter’s son who walked our steps, probably having blisters on His feet and no place to lay His head. The preacher and prophet who was mocked by the religious many, scoffed at by those who claimed they knew what His Father wanted. They used the law He’d written to condemn Him.

The friend who wiped away tears. The healer of the broken.

The slain Lamb on a bloody cross, placed in a tomb.

The risen Lion who is alive today.

The more imperfect our earthly leader; may we be reminded of how perfect our Father in Heaven is. May we realize how desperately we need Him, and cling to Jesus with all of our hearts. May there be revivals, and abundant joy.

Because no matter the outcome, the prez-elect will not be perfect. But Jesus? He’s the essence of it. And oh, how He loves us.

““Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,

Because He lives, all fear is gone;

Because I know He holds the future,

And life is worth the living, Just because He lives!”

– Bill & Gloria Gaither, Because He Lives

THE WAY †, Uncategorized

Awake, America

adacostauf

“The people will be fuel for the fire, and no one will spare even his own brother. They will attack their neighbor on the right but will still be hungry. They will devour their neighbor on the left but will not be satisfied. In the end they will even eat their own children.” – Isaiah 9:20

As much as I hate to admit it, I was simply skimming over Isaiah 9 in my nightly devotions, when I felt the Holy Spirit prompt me to read the second part over again. And then again. Why? I wondered. The first part is great. The first part involves key prophecies and verses included in sermons around Christmastime.

But God talks to us through His Word, and though its thousands of years old, it is still relevant. It will always be relevant. He is God, and He does not change.

Yes, when we read, we’re to read things in context. But while we read, we’re supposed to pray and talk to Him and ask Him to reveal certain things to us.

And I don’t know about you, but the verse, “They will attack their neighbor on the right but will still be hungry. They will devour their neighbor on the left but will not be satisfied,” – certainly seem like what’s going on in America today.

We live in a world where people on both sides mock, ridicule, and completely lash out in hatred against the other side. We’re called stupid because we disagree with one side. If we like another side, we’re called other horrible things. We’re animals without a conscience.

Some people are refused service. Some people get yelled at. Some people are brutally beaten in the streets.  Others are shot at.

What is this world coming to? Why can’t we all just agree to disagree? Isn’t that what we’ve done in the past? Have we changed so much that the span of eight years or four years can destroy the root of America? Freedom.

Freedom of religion. Freedom of speech. Freedom to live. Freedom of democracy. Freedom of a government that changes based on who the people elect. Freedom for the people to decide in another amount of time if that government needs to change, or its prospering and should stay the same. Freedom of agreeing to disagree with your neighbor.

One check mark doesn’t dictate our souls. One check mark doesn’t change how much God has blessed this country.

One government in turmoil doesn’t ruin everything.

America. Know her. Drive through her. Go see her national parks. Go see the glory of God’s creation in them. Drive down certain trails, and learn about the mysteries of our history. Go to certain cities and hear the history of how far she’s come. Learn about the brave men and women who have fought to keep her who she is. Go thank the veterans that deem her still worthy. The people themselves are the heart of America. The kindness, the accents, the food. In every state it’s a little different, but we all grew up placing our hands over our hearts for the same flag.

Are we to be so swayed by Hollywood and reporters? Are we to be swayed by certain representatives? Are we to allow ourselves to be brainwashed into thinking that violence and hatred against our opposing side is ok because we just know that they are wrong (and should totally be punished for it!)? Common sense alone should tell you that that kind of violence is evil.

Aren’t we human? Don’t we all watch the same sunsets? Don’t we all drive on the right side of the road (America, y’all!)? Don’t we all bicker about our sports teams and cheer like mad when they do great things? Is there anything more wonderful than a newborn? Isn’t ice cream awesome?

Can’t we just hang up the TV, the rioting and the yelling, and educate ourselves on the candidates? And when we do that, how about we realize that those on the other side are human beings. We all drive on the right side of the road, like they do. Some yell for that sports team, like you do. Some are coffee addicts, like you are. Some won that hot dog eating contest, just like you did. Some graduated from that awesome university, just like you did.  Some have fought for this country, like they have on your side. Some have died for this country, as they have on your side.

This country will never be perfect. Our government will never be just right. But let’s hold onto the freedoms that we hold so dear, and have faith in the One who inspired our founders to fight for freedom. The One Who is freedom. The One Who loved the world so much that He gave His only begotten Son.

And that Son is our hope. No earthly government will ever be the essence of peace and perfection, but we can have faith that we will see that one day. Because God’s Word says so:

“For a child is born to us, a Son is given to us. The government will rest on His shoulders. And He will be called: Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. His government and its peace will never end. He will rule with fairness and justice from the throne of His ancestor David for all eternity. The passionate commitment of the Lord of Heaven’s Armies will make this happen.” – Isaiah 9:6-7

-ASD

Originally posted in 2018*

THE WAY †

On That Sunday

adacostauf

On That Sunday (A Palm Sunday musing) by ASD 03/24/24

On that Sunday they didn’t know

They didn’t understand where You would go

On that Sunday the sky was bright,

 the leaves and branches paving the path for Your light

On that Sunday, there was a great procession

A celebration for the One who came down from Heaven

On that Sunday when You spoke,

Your words were careful and deliberate to ensure they would have eternal hope

On that Sunday they wanted to make You their King

They couldn’t see the true offering You would bring

But on that Sunday, You already knew

You already saw everything that You were going to do

On that Sunday You could already taste the bread and wine

Your body that Your children would take, for all time

On that Sunday You could taste the blood of Your sweat,

 as the tears would run down Your face

You already saw what would happen in the garden,

the prayer You would pray, instead of a fight, You demonstrated Your grace

On that Sunday, You already knew the betrayer betraying, the denier denying

The mocks and jeers in celebration of You dying

On that Sunday, You could see the Friday

The thorns and the nails, the tears on their faces

Their misunderstanding, the grief and the fear

On that Sunday, You could taste the sponge they offered as mocking

The taste of our filth on Your lips as You would give up Your spirit,

The guards with the spear, not having to break a bone, would find the way you died shocking

On that Sunday, You could see Saturday, all that You would do

But the despair of the ones who had to be silent, devastated You were in the tomb

But on that Sunday with palms in Your path,

 You could see the next Sunday and their shock and joy

For on that Palm Sunday You could see the next Sunday

You already knew You would rise again

You would conquer death, and have forgiven all sin

On that Sunday, You would triumph

Because though the enemy had schemed and tried

You had and will always have eternal victory

On that Sunday, You rose from the grave

And for all who accept You, we can know we are saved

For on that Sunday, You already knew, everything that You came here to do

THE WAY †

What is Life?

adacostauf

What is Life

How do you handle the words that slice through you?

The words that imply that your life doesn’t have meaning. That you don’t matter. That if you were gone, you might be missed. But the world would be indifferent. It might even be better, in fact, because your immediate family is already in Heaven.

Those are the types of words, the type of implications that can break. And golly, do they hurt. If you let them get to you. If you let them push you over the edge, and seep into your soul.

I had casually asked someone their opinion on my travel to another location (a travel warning part of the world) – they’d been before, when the place wasn’t at war. They said I should go, because the tour I’m set to go on was proceeding. Then they reasoned – if something happened – what difference would it make? What would it matter? I could get into an accident outside of my house, or an effect of war could get to me there. At least I’d see the place. But my family was already in Heaven. So what’s the worst that could happen?

I brushed it off then.

Hours later, it sunk in. And it stung.

I had been expecting either an, “It felt safe, the tour company is cautious, it’s worth it.” Or a: “It’s too dangerous, I would advise against it for now.”

Not implying that because I’d already lost my family, this might be a quick way to see them again; but at least see the place I wanted to travel while on my way.

Maybe I misinterpreted it. Or maybe it was just a malicious attack of the enemy. The enemy who comes to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10). The enemy who wants all followers of Jesus to think they’re life is without purpose, they don’t matter.

The same person, earlier in the day, already compared my life to Job. And God had a thing or two to say to Job’s friends that gave him advice.

Because I have something that Job didn’t have. I have the book of Job. And I know how it ends. A family restored. A life restored. Health restored. Hope restored. Because God restores.

God could’ve allowed the enemy to take Job’s life, but God restored. Job was Job. Job’s story was chosen, a faithful servant, engrained in the best-selling book of all time, a redemption story, an example.

How dare I think my little-old-purposeless story could ever have the redemption arc that Job’s does?

Here’s the thing. I don’t. I deserve death. I deserve the worst.

But “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” – John 3:16, NIV

God’s Word says, “Oh that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live!” – Deuteronomy 30:19, NLT

Paul says, “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.” -Philippians 1:21, NIV

Paul, in chains. Us, in the chains of this world. To die is gain. And I know that. I fully realize that. This earth isn’t home. But as long as Jesus gives breath in these lungs, to live is Christ. To live is Christ. To give glory to Him. To worship Him. To point to Him.

I might not have immediate family anymore, but I do pray one day for a marriage, for children. I have hope. But even if that doesn’t happen, to live is Christ.

Like Anna, who was well and truly alone in this world, a widow after 7 years of marriage, she spent the remaining decades and decades worshipping God, day and night, never leaving the temple (Luke 2:37).

If Christ is all that we have, He is enough. If our gift is evangelism, we evangelize. If it’s healing, heal. If it’s giving, give. If it’s showing kindness, be kind. Teaching, teach.  If it’s writing, write. If all our hearts can manage and our weary bones can handle is worshipping and praying and weeping, that is enough. That is purpose. With this breath that God gives us, may every day be for Him. Praying, being still, listening, is purpose. Prayers and petitions to God can change the world.

Choose life.

Because, my purpose isn’t a family. My purpose, the biggest thing in this life, my life itself – is Jesus. And if I can show kindness to one person, if I can give to someone in need, if I can write something that might help someone choose life, then that’s a blessing. Every breath is.

And yes, we are so small. But Jesus knows the numbers of hairs on our head.

If we don’t matter to Him, then why does He say, “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born, I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” – Jeremiah 1:5, NIV

“’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”  – Jeremiah 29:11, NIV

“For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were recorded in Your book before one of them came to be. How precious are Your thoughts, God! How vast the sum of them!” – Psalm 139:13-17, NIV (if you ever want to know how much you matter, how intentional God is with you, read this WHOLE Psalm)

“For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God. So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as His own children. Now we call Him, ‘Abba, Father.’ For His Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children. And since we are His children, we are His heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share His glory, we must also share His suffering.” – Romans 8:14-17, NLT

To live is Christ.

Christ suffered. He was persecuted. He was cast out from His homeland, looked down on upon, spit upon. The people who claimed to uphold the law He wrote made it their goal to persecute Him. He was sold out for pieces of silver. When He was arrested, being condemned, even His closest followers and friends turned their backs on Him. He was nailed to a cross, the sharp thorns of their mocking crown digging into the head of the King of kings who spoke life. He gave His life for us that Friday. And three days later, the Resurrection and the Life conquered death, so we can have eternity.

All because He knit us in the womb. He chose us. He adopted us. He created us for a purpose. He has a plan for us. For good. He restores. He redeems. He heals. He loves us. And He tells us to choose life.

We don’t have to listen to the lie of Satan that tells us our lives don’t matter; because the one who is Life itself died and conquered death to give us life.

You might reason to examine the context. You might reason that the people writing it were prophets chosen by God. Special. With meaning.

But guess what? For God so loved the world.

If you are here, He chose you. He knit you in the womb. You might be an orphan. You might be without friends. You might have lost your career, your finances. You might think you’re unworthy, a burden on society.

But the King of Kings who spoke life over this world, came here to take Your place, bear your scars, die your death, to give you life. Choose life. Your life matters. You are so dearly loved by your Creator!

I don’t think the person knew they wounded me, or even gave it a second though. I do think it was an attack of Satan. I forgive the person.

Though it really is a place I’d love to see in the world, I will wait until the land heals.

And I won’t live thinking that my life doesn’t matter.

If living for Christ is all you have, that is absolutely enough.

THE WAY †, Uncategorized

Battlefield, Meet January ’24

adacostauf

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33, NLT

Do you ever have a dream? A wonderful dream that you know it’s your God-given purpose to pursue?

And you just know that you need to start in the new year. Because, by some miracle, the New Year started at the beginning of a new week. How perfect is that?

So, you make a big list on December 31st of all the things you hope you’ll accomplish. All the things that the New Year will bring.

But then, life gets in the way.

Plans get disrupted, and oh, life gets frustrating.

I had these goals I was chasing, these things I was so confident were right, but life got in the way. Or, another way to put it, I’ve been attacked at every angle. A big life goal, a moving situation, my health (which led to my trip since I’d planned since 2020 – cancelled), my sweet pup (she’s well now), my finances, my life (snowbirds in Florida can’t drive, y’all), my water (my water cooler somehow internally combusted), my family, my mind, even my computer (and with that, my profession).

Every angle.

January 2024 has been a doozy.

I haven’t handled it that well. I’ve said things. I’ve shook my fist (metaphorically…most of the time). I’ve gotten really frustrated and asked the questions why.

But, unfortunately for the one doing the attacking, these things brought me to a place of surrender. Somewhat begrudgingly. Somewhat frustratingly, and definitely asking why.

But surrender. Not to the enemy. Not to turning my back on the King of Kings.

But surrender to the one who holds my life in the palm of His hand.

Everything I thought I knew, that I thought I desired, has been brought before me and put on trial the last 31 days. It’s helped me realized what goals are important: Health. Family. Health for my pup. Wisdom. Safety (again, defensive driving in Florida is a necessity).

Most of all, Jesus. Through everything, Jesus. Surrendering every last drop of it to Jesus.

Because I am a mess without Him. I have no hope without Him.

I had this physical situation that really did scare me, where I thought I was at the end of my rope, but He showed me, in His own spectacularly gloriously merciful way, that He sees me. I had a financial situation that had me really frustrated because of injustice, but you know what? He still provides. He’s kept me safe so many times.

Lots of bad, heartbreaking, horrible, awkward things happened in January. But Jesus brought me through it and rescued me, calmed my fears, and gave me hope.

There are certain things I’ll need to work on every day, that I’ll never stop praying for. But Jesus has those.

He has me. He holds me in His hands. He is my Refuge.

I know the areas I need to work on, to pray on, to pray for. I do not know a lot of things. But I know Jesus.

The enemy might come before me one way, but the enemy has been defeated, and in Jesus’ Name he has to flee seven ways (Deuteronomy 28:7).

But, praise God, it’s not my job to worry about the enemy. It’s my honor to worship the God who sees me. Who calls me His. Who reminds me that I am not alone, that He’s with me, and, because of Jesus and His perfect work on the cross, there is hope, healing, and eternity.

So while my 2024 did not start as I intended, my Savior brought me through each problem I faced. I truly saw His hand, His rescue, His protection, in the ways He rescued me.

January, I think you made a warrior out of me.

I can’t wait to see what Jesus has in store for the rest of this year.

THE WAY †, Uncategorized

What Joy Means

adacostauf

What is the meaning of joy? What does it mean to you?

Is it happiness, elation, excitement? Is it something that happens when everything is going perfectly? You receive good news, and that triggers your joy?

Or does it run deeper, in a way that’s indescribable. Almost raw and bittersweet. Almost overwhelming. It’s every extreme, all rolled into one. You shouldn’t feel happy in the situation you’re in, and you don’t. Nothing is right in your world. But still, joy pursues you. It’s this innermost tug, that in the midst of your situation, you can still have hope. Maybe joy isn’t based on circumstance. Maybe it’s based on something else. Something far greater.

We like to bring up how “fear not” is mentioned hundreds of times in the Bible; one statement for every day of the year.

Did you realize that various versions of the word “joy” (“rejoice” or “joyful”) is mentioned in the Bible about 430 times? Happiness, the emotion based on circumstance, is only in the Bible roughly ten times (openthebible.org).

If telling us to “fear not” is so important to God that He’d give us that phrase for each day, how much more joy.

If you’re like me and love starting in Genesis and reading through your Bible starting January 1, highlight every version of the word “joy.” Study those verses. See how they meld. See the situations they were in and the grief and the overwhelming places. See all that King David went through, every way in how he messed up and fell short – but He understood how important joy is to God. See Jesus praying for us, praying that we would have His joy.

Joy is Jesus’. He spoke so that we could have His joy. Joy runs deeper, because for those in Christ, it’s a spiritual birthright.

We’re good at hearing so many sermons under the sun, we’re good at saying how cool Jesus is. We’re good at condemnation. Yet maybe the key that we’re missing, the message that needs to be displayed to the world, is that Jesus is love. He is peace, and hope, and salvation. And Jesus is joy.

It doesn’t make sense, but His way seldom looks like the world’s. He transcends it. He’s God. And joy is so important to God.

“If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.” – John 15:10-11

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Fading Churches

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I’m not bold. I do not like to share every detail of my life on social media.

If you know me, you probably know that I am a Christian. That I was raised in a Christian church by a Christian family. Those wise by this world’s standards might deem it a mental crutch or unpopular today.

Which is fine. I never cared about popularity anyway.

I was speaking with a friend who’s from another country because they had asked me about church (I had tried a new church that morning). He asked if it was a different religion or connected to other churches I had been to.

I answered and asked him how it was where he’s from. In Europe, the churches are historic and beautiful and practically museums. But he simply shrugged and said that people don’t really go to church. He said that people might believe, but they aren’t “outspoken” about it. He referred to religion – Christianity – as being a passing fancy. A phase the world went through, and he spoke as if it was losing its popularity.

As if The Bible hasn’t been the best-selling book throughout history.

As if wars haven’t happened because of it.

As if people aren’t being persecuted – to this day – because of it.

As if a small country still isn’t the most controversial country in history.

As if the Name of Jesus isn’t the most controversial, popular and beloved figure throughout history.

As if Christianity is just a pleasant label for a simple-minded belief and being a follower of Jesus is just a term and a crutch, and not an all-consuming fire of the most important relationship anyone could ever be blessed to be chosen to have.

As if this world simply exists for us and our own pleasure, and there isn’t hope.

Seeing a person I’ve known since I was little speak in such a dismissive matter literally made my heart ache. For him and his dismissive view. And for Europe and the fading church. For the people in countries where the Bible is banned, and who do anything to simply read a page of it – and are overjoyed when they do. And for this country I’ve been born in, which was founded so we could have the freedom to boldly worship – but we’re more into what influencers are telling us to believe than in picking up the Word of God and letting that influence us. We’re more into our right to choose than what the Creator of the World says for us to obey.

I love Jesus with all my heart, soul and strength. Not because of a beautiful church building. Not because of eloquent words that a church elder might string together. Not because of a community of lukewarm Christian-labeled Sunday-goers.

I love Jesus because He is Lord. I love Jesus because, though I’ve lost those I love the most in this world, He has never left me or forsaken me. I love Jesus because though I am a wretched anxious  sinner, He came here and took my place, He bore all of my sins and sickness on the cross, and conquered death. He took my punishment. And on top of everything, He gives me eternity and I get to see my loved ones again. I love Him because He created dogs and gave them their quirky personalities. I love Him because of my Jesus-following friends who are not afraid to pray bold prayers that shake the heavens and be raw with life. I love Him because He makes the sun rise and the sun set and the stars dance along the sky; all the while creating the most beautiful sky-paintings no earthly artist could ever begin to compete with.

I love Him because He gives us His Word.

I love Him because no matter how many times I read it, there is always something new to be discovered. It is the living Word of God.

I love Him because His Word says He adopts us. Those who accept Jesus into their hearts are adopted – are born again!

I love Him because, right before I was at my darkest point of loss, I heard His still, small, ocean-wave-overwhelming voice say, “Do not be afraid.” I had no idea why. Then I did.

I love Him because He is a God who sees and a King who cares.

I love Jesus because in spite of the how horrible, messy, sad, angry and destructive this world gets, he bore the hate of it first. He bore our death. And He has overcome the world.

I love Him because the King of Kings – the only leader who has ever truly been just – is so completely merciful and loving that He has done everything He could to give us the hope of eternity. If only we pick up our crosses and follow Him.

I love Him because though I have lost everyone and everything; He is my everything and He is enough.

I love Him because I know my love is insufficient. But it was never about my love for Him. It Is about is love for me. For all of us.

King Jesus is not a passing fancy. He is the Almighty Great I Am and He is coming soon.

I dare you to step out of your formal motions and eloquent speech (though I know God is worthy of all formality). I dare you to come to Jesus broken, with all of your pain, all of your sin and grief. I dare you to be raw with God who also says you are His beloved child. Who also promises to be your Friend who sticks closer than a brother and to be a Father to the fatherless. Pick up the book that He provided for you – and maybe read the rawness of the Psalms and ponder why King David who penned them – noting his sin, failures, and asking God to ‘slap his enemies in the face’ – was the apple of His eye. Then go to John and see the Word. The Word who was God. He existed in the beginning with God. God created everything through Him and nothing was created except through Him. The Word gave life to everything that was created, and His life brought light to everyone…”

“The Light shines in the darkness. And the darkness can never extinguish it.” – John 1

If you do anything, don’t fall for the formality of formal fancy churches that are fading. Do not fall for religion and labels. Fall in love with the one who Created you, for He will never fail you.

Strive to know the Author and Perfector. Find a church passionately on fire for Him. And be the church on fire for Him.

Know Jesus. Seek Him. If you sincerely do, His Word promises that He will be found by you.

THE WAY †, Wander

Through Sand & Waves

adacostauf

 

It’s amazing how God can use the smallest, simplest things in life to make the biggest impact. Growing up in Florida, I’ve walked by countless sea turtle nests and have never seen a hatchling. Until last night. I’d been dealing with some anxiety and the sun had finally come out after a pretty terrific rain storm – so I decided to do a prayer walk on the beach.

When I was ready to head back to my car, I noticed this tiny thing moving through the sand. My first instinct was that it was a crab. As I grew closer, I saw it was a turtle! A tiny hatchling. Just ploughing its little way through the sand in kind of a zig-zaggy, desperate manner. He looked determined and helpless at the same time.

I glanced around to see if there were more, or to see if I could find its nest – but I couldn’t. I also looked for other people to tell – because this was a turtle hatchling! How cool was this?! There weren’t any people close by. So I just watched as he made his way through the sand, seemingly covering himself with it – with every swipe of his flippers – yet he finally reached the sea. Then I watched – mesmerized – as the waves tossed him a bit – then he took off into the sunset (quite literally).

Then I was in awe. I was in awe of the instincts built into this tiny little creature. In awe that he seemed so determined to reach the ocean, even though he had no idea what it held for him. He had to get there. He somehow seemed to have faith that it would be ok. That it would be good. Even though he was this itty-bitty thing taking on a giant body of sand and crashing waves. He was cool with it. A bit of a hot mess but he was cool.

And Jesus used this little guy to get to me.

This has been probably the hardest, scariest year of my life. Because my whole immediate family is with Jesus, and it’s just me. I feel too young for this – to be left alone in this big world. To, in my mid-twenties, have no parents to ask advice of. To be brave. To handle all the adult things. To not have my precious loved ones to talk to and run home to.

So this little turtle hatchling taught me a lesson. Because, right now, I have no idea what my future holds. I can only handle tomorrow. I have goals and a list of things I have to do. I have dreams of how I’d love to help people learn about Jesus, what I’d like to write and where I’d love to travel. But it’s so unknown! Will the house I grew up in ever feel like a home again? Am I meant to wander for a while? Will I one day be blessed with a family of my own and sweet children I can name after my Mama and Papa? I wish I knew.

But God. God knows.

I have this hope. This one hope. That had I not been able to handle this, God wouldn’t have allowed it to happen. Had I been destined for the melancholy and depression – it would be so easy to fall into that. But I have this hope. That God has a purpose. He placed me here for a reason. Through every heartbreak and tragedy, I’ve ever been through – He has gotten me through. Through every time I’ve messed up, He’s demonstrated His grace in ways I’ve never thought imaginable.

While I might feel at my loneliest and most scared, He’s still right here. He’s never left me or forsaken me. And while I can’t see what the future holds because right now my sea is rough and I’m new to this chapter of my life, it is in His hands. He will see me through. He will bring out the sun and calm the storm. He’ll help me fight through the rough sand and find His peace beyond the waves. All the time, God is good. All the time, His love never fails. When I’m lonely, He’s never left me. When I’m afraid, He’s still in control. When I’m weak, His power works best in my weakness. And while I want to be sad and question everything, He’s still constant and good. Because He is the Everlasting Father who loves His children more than any of us are capable of understanding.

So why do we have to go through rough sand and rougher waves? This world is broken. It’s rough. It’s a fallen world filled with sin.

But we can cling to our faith – cling to our hope, that among these blinding grains of sand and rough waves there’s a Savior who sees. Who knows the future. He holds the keys to eternity in His hands and wants us to have joy on earth because we are His beloved children. He knows the future. Jesus sees. But even while we’re in the midst of sand and waves He’s here with us every step – or flipper swipe – of the way.

 

THE WAY †

The Choice of Life

adacostauf

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Before I was born, I was given life.

A woman did the most selfless act for me. She chose to carry me in her womb for nine months so I could live. She couldn’t afford to raise me, to keep me – but she chose to carry me. She gave me up for adoption; and from the second day of my life, I had my family. The family that I was made for. I am so immeasurably blessed because of it.

Yet sometimes I can’t help but wonder why. Why me? How did I get this blessed? Because I’ve seen the videos.

You know the ones. They’re all over the news now.

So many people want to ignore them and say that it’s not that big of a deal.

Oh, but it is. Life is a big deal. Choosing life is a big, wonderful deal.

Infanticide is also a big deal. Causing a little one harm and pain is a horrific thing. Just because they don’t yet have a voice doesn’t mean they don’t feel.

I’m a 20-something female “millennial” with a degree in journalism. I’m supposed to be feminist. I’m supposed to believe that because it’s a woman’s body, she can do whatever she pleases with it.

But I can’t. Because when someone who had every opportunity to say no to giving you life chooses life for you, you grow up wanting to fight for life. Wanting to defend precious babies – fetuses – because you know how precious life is. What a true blessing it is.

I just wish I could make it better. I wish I could tell every woman considering abortion that there is a better alternative. A choice where not only will she be greatly rewarded, but she will know that this little baby she chooses life for will have the opportunity to grow up and do great things. There won’t be any more opportunities for videos with people speaking about doing things that are so indescribably awful and utterly evil. There would be life and beautiful – amazing – adoptions.

Of course I can’t understand all circumstances. I can’t truly fathom how scary and uncertain it must be. But I know how precious life is and how grateful I am for it.

And for all of the precious little babies that were never born – I believe that they’re the most special. Because they’re the ones who go straight to the arms of Jesus. They get to dance along golden streets and play hide-and-seek with angels. They’re the ones who have truly seen grace fulfilled. These aborted babies are living in the reality of everything this world could be if only we would choose grace and life.

Some will think that I’m contradicting myself with that. Because how could life down here ever be better than what’s up in heaven? But Jesus is the one who gives us life. He’s the one who forms us in the womb. He’s the one who places us here for His own, special purpose that no one else can do.

“Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Before you were born I set you apart.” –Jeremiah 1:5

“I Am your Creator. You were in My care before you were born.” –Isaiah 44:2

“Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves.” –Proverbs 30:8

“Choose life, that you and your descendants may live.” –Deuteronomy 30:19

“It would be better for them to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around their neck than to cause one of these little ones to stumble.” – Luke 17:2

“’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.’” –Jeremiah 29:11

 

**Originally posted on my former blog, Guide My Every Way.